Situationships… How and Why?

Ah, the situationship—the modern-day romantic limbo that leaves many of us scratching our heads, wondering, “What are we?” If you’ve ever found yourself in this ambiguous gray area, you’re not alone. Situationships have become increasingly common in today’s dating world (were they always, and now there’s just a name for it?), where commitment is often elusive.

So, what exactly is a situationship, and how do you navigate one?

1. What Is a Situationship?

A situationship is that in-between stage where you’re more than just friends but not quite in a committed relationship. (The name is just as ambiguous as the actual thing.) You might be spending time together, going on dates, and having physical intimacy, but there’s no official label. It’s a relationship without the definition—a “ship” without the anchor.

2. The Appeal of Situationships

Why do situationships happen? To start, they can be low-pressure and convenient. In a world where everyone seems to be juggling careers, family, social lives, and personal growth, a situationship offers the perks of a relationship without the demands. You get companionship, intimacy, and someone to spend time with—without the serious talks or long-term planning. For some people, this is exactly what they’re looking for. But for others (dare I say, many), it’s a temporary state that leaves them yearning for clarity and commitment.

3. Signs You’re in a Situationship

• Lack of labels: You haven’t defined the relationship, and there’s no talk of exclusivity.
• Inconsistent communication: You might go days or even weeks without hearing from someone, only to pick up right where you left off with no reference to the time lapse.
• No future plans: Conversations about the future are vague or nonexistent. You’re living in the moment, which seems like a good thing for a short while, but you’re not sure where it’s going.
• Emotional ambiguity: You feel like you’re walking on eggshells when it comes to discussing feelings. There’s a sense of uncertainty about how the person you’re dating feels about you.

4. The Emotional Toll of a Situationship

While situationships can be enjoyable, they can also take a toll on your emotional well-being, especially if you’re hoping for more. The uncertainty can lead to anxiety, frustration, and self-doubt. You might find yourself constantly analyzing every interaction, trying to decipher what they’re thinking or where things are headed. If it’s causing more stress than happiness (as in, are you miserable or anxious more than 50% of the time… or are you only happy when you’re physically together?), it might be time to reassess what you need from this connection.

5. How to Navigate a Situationship

If you’re in a situationship and feeling uncertain, here are some steps to take:

• Know your worth: First and foremost, remember that you deserve clarity and respect in any relationship. Don’t settle for less just because you’re afraid of losing the connection. You don’t have to live in the status quo.
• Communicate openly: If you’re looking for more than what the situationship is offering, it’s crucial to communicate your feelings and expectations. Have a candid conversation about where you stand and where you’d like things to go. And be okay with any response.
• Be honest with yourself: Ask yourself if this situationship is truly fulfilling your needs. If not, it might be time to move on and seek a relationship that aligns with your desires. I promise, you’ll be okay.

6. When to Walk Away

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is walk away. It’s not easy, especially if you’ve developed real feelings, but staying in a state of uncertainty can prevent you from finding the committed relationship you truly want. As a note—an important note—walking away doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Quite the opposite, in fact. It means you’ve recognized your worth and chosen to prioritize your happiness. Being with someone isn’t the end goal. Being happy is.

7. Turning a Situationship into a Relationship

If you’re hoping to turn a situationship into a more committed relationship, you have to have an honest conversation about your intentions. Be clear about what you want, and give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings. While there’s no guarantee that they’ll want the same thing (in fact, chances are slim or else it likely would have turned into something before), being upfront can help you both determine if you’re on the same page.

Some final thoughts:

Situationships are a reflection of two things: our current dating culture (fluid, fast-paced, and often undefined) and some people’s interest in keeping someone around because something feels better than nothing… and the other person’s acceptance of that.