If you’ve ever wondered, when dating someone, “How do I express my needs and then decide if it’s a relationship I still want to be in?” I have a framework I’d like you to consider: The Tree of Needs.
“How do I express my needs in my relationship?”
Situationships… How and Why?
Ah, the situationship—the modern-day romantic limbo that leaves many of us scratching our heads, wondering, “What are we?” If you’ve ever found yourself in this ambiguous gray area, you’re not alone. Situationships have become increasingly common in today’s dating world
Dating Red Flags: Signs to Watch Out for in Potential Partners
I’ll admit that the term “Red Flag” is overused today. People are classifying anything from someone’s taste in music (Broadway for me) to their obsession with their dog as a dreaded red flag. While those things might not align with
Why “Not My Type” Is Hurting Your Chances of Meeting a Perfect Match
As an online dating coach, I offer a range of services to clients, from getting them off on the right foot with the right profile and photos to doing most of the dating “work” for them, leading up to the
The Right (No Ambiguity, No Pressure) Way to Ask Someone Out on a Second Date
You’ve done the hard part. You’ve started a conversation with someone on an online dating app or website, you planned a meet-up, and you’ve had a successful first date. What’s next? Another hard part (in case you haven’t caught on…
5 Scripts to Have in Your Online Dating Arsenal — When to Use Them and Why They Work
Online dating can be a roller coaster — thrilling with your hands excitedly raised above your head at times, holding on for dear life at others. And while many think finding a potential match’s profile is the hard part, many know
5 Photos NOT to Post in Your Online Dating Profiles
What you write in your online dating profile requires careful thought — after all, it’s giving the reader (a potential match) the first impression of who you are and what you’re all about. But photos require an equal amount of attention,
The Two Components to Getting Over Someone
I was on the phone earlier today with a client who, unfortunately, is fresh out of a relationship and going through a breakup. She asked me, in no uncertain terms, “Can I speed up the healing process? How can I
How to Get Past Ghosting
I’m going to come right out and say it: ghosting hurts! If you’ve ever been ghosted—that heart-sinking feeling when someone you were connecting with or dating suddenly disappears without a trace—you’re not alone. Far from it. Ghosting can be hurtful
“I Can’t” Means “I Can’t” & “I Won’t” Means “I Won’t”
A client recently reached out to me to ask for advice on a dating situation. (This is not news… it’s my job!) After a “great” first date, the man told my client that he’d be interested in connecting again but noted that he was looking for “something casual” because he was recently divorced. She said that despite looking for a long-term relationship, she thought she was okay with something casual since she liked this guy and had other family-related responsibilities to take care of at the time.
Is Summer a Good Season for Dating? The Pros and Cons of Warm Weather Wooing
If you Google “best time to start a dating profile,” you’ll find no shortage of answers. Some are based on personal experiences and some are based on research or polls, but there is a wide range of answers. My thoughts? There are pros and cons to every season when it comes to dating — and summer is no exception.
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
I got this question the other day:
“What’s your advice on getting back into the dating pool after a breakup? Is there a certain amount of time one should wait? Or, is it a case of getting back on the horse right after falling off? My heart was broken recently… and my friends are telling me to get back out there and date. My walls have been built back up again and I don’t know if I can date anyone right now. What would you recommend?”
How to Explain a Bad Date, With Help from Psychology
What went wrong on your last date? The way you answer could change everything about how you approach your next one.
What Not to Write in Your Dating Profile: Turning Negative Statements into Positive Outlooks
As a dating coach, I’ve read a lot of online dating profiles… which also means that I’ve read a lot of bad dating profiles. There are many things that can turn me (and my clients) off to a person’s bio — from bad grammar to lack of photos to rants about politics — but perhaps the worst perpetrator is general negativity.
We Can’t Predict the Future, So Enjoy the Present
Rather than trying to predict the future and plan your course of action based on that fictitious future, instead, go into each situation on its own, open to any outcome.
Words of Wisdom for Dating in 2022
Words of wisdom for dating in 2022
Sympathy or Solutions?
Sometimes, someone calls you and starts to vent about something. Human nature (at least mine, and most people I know) is to jump to finding answers or solutions when, in fact, the person on the other end of the phone simply needs someone to just listen, sympathize, and commiserate.
What Can I Write to Attract a Quality Person?
“What can I write in my profile to attract the kind of person I’m looking for?” This is a question I get from clients almost daily. In their mind, they have a target partner. Let’s say this “target” is a
5 Steps to Dating Success in 2019
A new year is almost upon us. It’s a time for getting older, getting wiser, and getting… dates?
Show Up or Show Yourself Out
June 20, 2018 It was 11 AM on a recent Sunday. My friend Stephanie was looking forward to meeting her date for brunch that they had scheduled over the dating app Bumble. She arrived on time, sat down at a
A Math Nerd Tackles Hinge and OkCupid
February 2, 2018 Hi, my name is Erika, and I’m a math nerd. Hi, my name is Erika, and I’m a dating coach. Yep, same person. The strangeness of my skillset is not lost on me. When feasible, I try
Are We Still On? Dating in the Time of Flakes.
July 20, 2017 I scheduled a coffee date for 1 PM Thursday with someone on Bumble. We arranged this through the dating app the night before around midnight, ending with, “I’ll see you then!” At 11 AM on Thursday, the
Emojis and Online Dating: A Match Made in… Face with Rolling Eyes + Pile of Poo
June 6, 2017 I can’t lie—I’m a big fan of the emoji. If I’m talking about my propensity to make a pun in any and all situations, I’ll probably punctuate it with the “nerd face” emoji. Or, if I’m asking
How to Take an Online Date Offline
June 23, 2016 Isn’t the point of going online to get offline? (No need to answer that. I think it’s pretty clear!) So many people ask me, “How do you just get offline?!” Or, “When is the appropriate time to
What’s the Whole Point of Dating?
June 18, 2015 Not that I take Urban Dictionary as gospel (I’d have some problems if I did!), but when it comes to the definition of “dating,” the usually off-color site does a surprisingly good job of defining the word.