September 4th, 2020 I got this question last week from a client: “I wanted to share the details about my date on Saturday. It was okay – nothing to write home about – just okay. He’s not someone I would
How Not To Ghost
The “Talking-Phase” Turn-Offs
July 3, 2020 There’s an important period in a relationship that’s often overlooked in online dating: the point between finding an interesting profile and actually meeting in person. While there is an art to crafting an interesting opening message —
5 Reasons to Revamp Your Dating Strategy
February 14, 2020 On Valentine’s Day, many people reflect on the fact that they are single and don’t necessarily want to be. (Side note: Being single is MORE than okay… sprawl out in bed, watch what you want on TV,
Texting is the Death of the First Date
January 15, 2020 I did something recently that I don’t usually do—I tried to prove myself wrong. As a dating coach, the advice I give is what I know to work. Even if it works 90% of the time, I’ll
6 Dating App Mistakes You’re Making… And How to Fix Them
August 4, 2019 So many people come to me asking why Bumble (or insert your favorite online dating app) “isn’t working.” What does “working” mean anyway? Some people think it means they should end up in a long-term relationship. While
A Tweak or Rewrite Can Make All the Difference
July 1, 2019 I Get By With a Little Help From My… Dating Coach Whenever I start working with new clients, I first ask if they are currently on an online dating site, and, if so, which one(s). I then
Maybe This is Why You’re Single
For all of that “work,” you don’t have a date.
This is How to Properly Plan a Date
October 16, 2018 I have an account on Instagram where I post dating messages. Sometimes they’re ones I’ve received myself, sometimes friends’ messages, clients’ messages, or messages submitted to me by other users of Instagram. The common theme of these
Women’s Top 5 Dating Pet Peeves
July 26, 2018 This article is for anyone trying to get a date with a woman. As a woman myself, and working with 65% female clients of all ages, I have some insider information on what women want when it
A Math Nerd Tackles Hinge and OkCupid
February 2, 2018 Hi, my name is Erika, and I’m a math nerd. Hi, my name is Erika, and I’m a dating coach. Yep, same person. The strangeness of my skillset is not lost on me. When feasible, I try
Are the Dating Apps Effective Tools for Meeting Someone?
August 8, 2017 Despite the nuanced differences, all dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Happn, The League, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc.) work similarly in that you look at a picture and you swipe left or right (not interested or interested, respectively) based
Two Lies Don’t Make a Truth
July 5, 2017 I had a date several years ago with someone I had met on an online dating site. He was handsome, witty, and intelligent—the trifecta in my book—so we decided to meet for brunch. (As a side note,
Have you committed a dating sin?
October 11, 2016 If you’re Jewish, like I am, then you know that the most sacred time of the year, the High Holidays, is upon us. (It’s a bit later than usual this year because of the extra month added
It’s Not the Medium; It’s the Person
August 18, 2016 It always starts the same: “I hate online dating.” Or, “I quit online dating.” Or, “I don’t believe in online dating.” I, of course, have to follow up half-heartedly with “why?” I say half-heartedly not because I’m
How to Take an Online Date Offline
June 23, 2016 Isn’t the point of going online to get offline? (No need to answer that. I think it’s pretty clear!) So many people ask me, “How do you just get offline?!” Or, “When is the appropriate time to
15 Quick & Dirty Tips for Your Online Dating Profile
March 2, 2016 You haven’t written your online dating profile yet? As any intrusive relative (we all have them) would say, “You’re not getting any younger!” This is before the requisite pinch cheek, of course. When you’re ready to take the leap
Is anyone out there reading my profile?
January 15, 2016 Question: Dear Erika: I am frustrated. It seems like no one is even reading the online dating profile I put out there. Men are emailing me from all over the country even though I explicitly stated only
10 Phrases You Should Delete from Your Online Dating Profile
September 14th, 2015 Depending on how long you’ve been on an online dating site, you can probably relate to that déjà-vu feeling you get when it feels like you’re reading the same profile over and over again. Somehow, everyone is
Is Doing Your Due Diligence the New Normal?
August 10, 2015 In some ways, three years seems like no time, and in other ways, it seems like a lifetime ago. Just over three years ago, I wrote an article called To Google or Not to Google? That is the
What’s in a name?
May 27, 2015 Henry90210 283017390 BlueEyedWriter NatsFanFromAK If I gave you these four online dating usernames (all made up, of course), whose profile do you think you’d click on first? I’d venture to say, solely based on the username, that
Texting and Dating: How Much Is Too Much?
March 16, 2015 How many times have you said the following to your friends, or have they said something like this to you? We were talking online, and then he asked for my number to make it easier to schedule
The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks
January 26, 2015 I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a literature buff. I vaguely remember reading Romeo & Juliet in high school, but that’s really the extent of my knowledge. (I did used to think it was interesting
The Top Five Online Dating Findings from 2014
December 29, 2014 Do you like to travel? Me, too. Apparently so does everyone else on Match.com. How do I know this? Match.com just came out with its 2014 Year in Review report, and below are the top five highlights:
Online Dating: Then and Now
September 22, 2014 Online dating has been around for a while now. In fact, Match.com first opened its proverbial doors back in 1993! As you may know, I was actually a very early adopter of online dating, using JDate back
How to Win the Dating Game
July 30, 2014 I play mahjong. It’s true. I know I’m a bit younger than the average-aged player (though I’m not sure why it trends that way!), but I love my weekly mahjong games. I play with a group of