Online dating can be a roller coaster — thrilling with your hands excitedly raised above your head at times, holding on for dear life at others. And while many think finding a potential match’s profile is the hard part, many know
What you write in your online dating profile requires careful thought — after all, it’s giving the reader (a potential match) the first impression of who you are and what you’re all about. But photos require an equal amount of attention,
A client recently reached out to me to ask for advice on a dating situation. (This is not news… it’s my job!) After a “great” first date, the man told my client that he’d be interested in connecting again but noted that he was looking for “something casual” because he was recently divorced. She said that despite looking for a long-term relationship, she thought she was okay with something casual since she liked this guy and had other family-related responsibilities to take care of at the time.
If you Google “best time to start a dating profile,” you’ll find no shortage of answers. Some are based on personal experiences and some are based on research or polls, but there is a wide range of answers. My thoughts? There are pros and cons to every season when it comes to dating — and summer is no exception.
I got this question the other day:
“What’s your advice on getting back into the dating pool after a breakup? Is there a certain amount of time one should wait? Or, is it a case of getting back on the horse right after falling off? My heart was broken recently… and my friends are telling me to get back out there and date. My walls have been built back up again and I don’t know if I can date anyone right now. What would you recommend?”
What went wrong on your last date? The way you answer could change everything about how you approach your next one.
Many years ago, I had a client who was on an online dating site, and someone she was interested in had a really cute picture of himself with a dog. So, when she reached out to him, she said, “What a cute pup! What’s his/her name?” The guy replied and, rather than being flattered that my client reached out, he instead accused her of stalking him: “How did you know I had a dog? Did you look me up? What else do you know about you?” She promptly wrote, “Look at your fourth picture.” End scene.
It’s no secret that people are watching their wallets these days — and for good reason (if you’ve bought eggs or needed to fill your car with gas recently, you’ll know what I’m talking about). So it would make sense that many singles are sticking to free apps and websites when it comes to online dating. However, finding love might be worth investing in a premium service.
As a dating coach, I’ve read a lot of online dating profiles… which also means that I’ve read a lot of bad dating profiles. There are many things that can turn me (and my clients) off to a person’s bio — from bad grammar to lack of photos to rants about politics — but perhaps the worst perpetrator is general negativity.
Rather than trying to predict the future and plan your course of action based on that fictitious future, instead, go into each situation on its own, open to any outcome.
September 4th, 2020 I got this question last week from a client: “I wanted to share the details about my date on Saturday. It was okay – nothing to write home about – just okay. He’s not someone I would
July 3, 2020 There’s an important period in a relationship that’s often overlooked in online dating: the point between finding an interesting profile and actually meeting in person. While there is an art to crafting an interesting opening message —
February 14, 2020 On Valentine’s Day, many people reflect on the fact that they are single and don’t necessarily want to be. (Side note: Being single is MORE than okay… sprawl out in bed, watch what you want on TV,
January 15, 2020 I did something recently that I don’t usually do—I tried to prove myself wrong. As a dating coach, the advice I give is what I know to work. Even if it works 90% of the time, I’ll
August 4, 2019 So many people come to me asking why Bumble (or insert your favorite online dating app) “isn’t working.” What does “working” mean anyway? Some people think it means they should end up in a long-term relationship. While
July 1, 2019 I Get By With a Little Help From My… Dating Coach Whenever I start working with new clients, I first ask if they are currently on an online dating site, and, if so, which one(s). I then
For all of that “work,” you don’t have a date.
October 16, 2018 I have an account on Instagram where I post dating messages. Sometimes they’re ones I’ve received myself, sometimes friends’ messages, clients’ messages, or messages submitted to me by other users of Instagram. The common theme of these
July 26, 2018 This article is for anyone trying to get a date with a woman. As a woman myself, and working with 65% female clients of all ages, I have some insider information on what women want when it
February 2, 2018 Hi, my name is Erika, and I’m a math nerd. Hi, my name is Erika, and I’m a dating coach. Yep, same person. The strangeness of my skillset is not lost on me. When feasible, I try
August 8, 2017 Despite the nuanced differences, all dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Happn, The League, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc.) work similarly in that you look at a picture and you swipe left or right (not interested or interested, respectively) based
July 5, 2017 I had a date several years ago with someone I had met on an online dating site. He was handsome, witty, and intelligent—the trifecta in my book—so we decided to meet for brunch. (As a side note,
October 11, 2016 If you’re Jewish, like I am, then you know that the most sacred time of the year, the High Holidays, is upon us. (It’s a bit later than usual this year because of the extra month added
August 18, 2016 It always starts the same: “I hate online dating.” Or, “I quit online dating.” Or, “I don’t believe in online dating.” I, of course, have to follow up half-heartedly with “why?” I say half-heartedly not because I’m
June 23, 2016 Isn’t the point of going online to get offline? (No need to answer that. I think it’s pretty clear!) So many people ask me, “How do you just get offline?!” Or, “When is the appropriate time to