May 30, 2014

When you go to a bookstore, would you rather buy the book with the line, “This book is about a woman’s adventure and coming of age,” or the one with the line, “Read a rare tale about a woman’s 14-month trek through the Amazon to learn about love, hope, passion, and most importantly, herself”?  I know which I’d buy, and I’d venture to say that you would, too.

On most of the dating sites, just a few words of your profile are shown.  Someone needs to actively click on you to see the rest.  For that reason, it’s important to make the first sentence memorable in order to catch someone’s attention and make him or her want to click in the first place.

Believe it or not, when perusing online dating profiles, people are often using the same criteria as those from the bookstore.  I’m not saying that you have to include mystery, intrigue, and drama all within one sentence.  (In fact, drama is usually something people do not want to see in an online dating profile!)  What I am saying, though, is that you should consider the first line of your profile as a “hook.”  It should be something to draw people in.  With so many people using online dating sites and so many profiles to weed through, it’s best to take that one extra step to make sure you’re catching someone’s eye.

Below are some real examples from popular online dating sites of boring opening lines.  And then I’ll show a few examples that make the cut.

  • Yes, I am single. I am throwing it out there!

I sure hope you’re single if you’re using online dating!

  • For the past few years, I’ve lived under the assumption that I’d meet someone in my normal circles of work, friends, and activities.

I’d say most people would have made that assumption.  La dee da.

  • So… I have never done this online dating thing before, and I’m still on the fence about how I feel about it.

This one is not only boring, but it’s also negative. 

  • I enjoy life and like to have fun.

This is the worst!  Raise your hand if you don’t enjoy life and like to have fun.  I better not see any hands raised!

Ready for the examples of some great intros?  Here we go.

  • Being an engineer, the last time I wrote this profile, I approached it like a car engine… it functioned okay and got 32 miles/gallon, but it didn’t attract women.  (This was kind of a problem.)

He’s able to make fun of himself.  Many people see this as a very attractive quality in a partner since he doesn’t take himself too seriously.

  • I like extra salted buttered popcorn and malt balls at the movies.

She sounds like fun.  Heck – I want to get to know her!

  • Most people say that they don’t want drama in a relationship, right?  But what if your partner’s a theater teacher?  I think I just found the loophole.

This is hysterical.  Not only is it a commentary on dating, but it also shares what she does for a living and shows that she has a clever sense of humor. She gets an A.  

Even if two profiles were identical except for the first line, would you rather read one from the first grouping or one from the second?  Don’t let people pass you by simply because your first line bored them to sleep.  Remember: When they go to the online dating bookstore, you want them to leave with your profile… or at least smile and send you an email to say hello.


The Intro Says It All

One thought on “The Intro Says It All

  • November 9, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Nice post. Simple and easy to understand.
    The opening line is about the hardest thing to do in a profile I think. Many people find it hard to actually write something like that about themselves. The “I enjoy life one” is common but at the same time I guess they want us to know they want to have some fun so don’t be a jackass. Your point is not to use the same old dumb and thoughtless lines everyone has used already.
    Otherwise people wonder how serious you are. Like the profiles that just say the same exact thing, or just as bad, don’t have anything there. Makes you wonder why the person signed up to begin with. If a person puts a little effort into the profile it shows and even if it isn’t all that funny or insightful I may read it because they really did the work of putting it there.
    Make something up about yourself and if some humor is there, that is a good thing. I may guess you enjoy life if there is some.
    It can be hard to make something about yourself that doesn’t sound dumb or corny. The one about the engineer was nice I like that.
    Sometimes, practice makes perfect and you may wind up with more than one good profile you can use. Why not put it on a brand new site and double your chances!


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